Esquire: Of Human
Bondage
November 1995
By Richard Rayner
On the eve of 007's return in GoldenEye, let's
admit this: There's no man alive who has never wished he were the suave,
violent bastard who saved Western civ.
IT WAS 1963, AND I WAS SEVEN YEARS
OLD, when I first dreamed of being James Bond. My parents had separated,
and I was living with my father in a seaside resort of faded Edwardian
splendor. Together we went to a double bill of
Dr. No and From
Russia with Love at the local Gaumont, an art-deco movie palace from
the 1920s. Ursula Andress burst from the surf in a white bikini with thighs
that went up and up and up, and Robert Shaw, a SPECTRE assassin posing
as a fellow Brit, brayed, "old man, old man" and gave himself away in the
restaurant car of the Orient Express by ordering red wine with fish. Tut-tut.
Such mistakes in life can be fatal, as Bond soon demonstrated. This was
also the time of Beatlemania. At the same theater, I hid under the seats
between shows and watched A Hard Day's Night four times in one day. Somehow,
it didn't seem remotely possible to be John Lennon. He was so funny and
fresh, a one-man revolution plus great voice and songs. I didn't quite
twig then that he'd nicked half of it from Elvis, whereas, even aged seven,
I knew Bond was all that I'd been brought up to revere and emulate, an
upperclass toff, but better looking and much nastier.
He was
a bastard, that's to say, but not a shit, and therefore an admirable role
model, and so I myself became a suave and ruthless little secret-agent
man, dodging in and out of the lobbies of the crumbling white-fronted hotels,
where I fantasized about running into Ursula Andress, who I'd decided would
pretty much do. To my mother, meanwhile, I wrote letters in invisible ink,
which presumably tickled my dad no end. At any rate, he shelled out cash
not only for repeat viewings of the movies but for a toy Walther PPK gmm,
a Bond briefcase with a dagger that popped out the side, and a Corgi toy
replica of the Aston Maron DB5-with the bulletproof shield at the back,
the ejector seat in the middle, and the machine guns in the front-that
Bond drove in Goldfinger, whose Shirley Bassey theme song with the
quack-wah-wah
horns I played until the record's grooves wore out.
The book
I toted everywhere was my future stepfather's copy of Moby Dick,
purchased on a stopover in New York while he was in the merchant marine.
Melville was way too deep, but the boards of that Modem Library edition
were wide enough to conceal a paperback Ian Fleming. Ishmael and Ahab provided
cover for Le Chiffre, Graf Hugo von der Drache, and Tracy, the Corsican
countess Teresa de Vicenzo, Bond's only true love, done to death on their
wedding day by superfiend Ernst Stavro Blofeld.
I didn't
know then that Fleming--a pushy opportunist, a racist, and a snob-more
closely resembled his vulgar villains than the suave Bond. I was undeterred
by the fact that he was a quite appalling writer, all too capable of following
the sentence "Bond grunted dubiously" with one that went "Bond paid negligently."
Even adverb mania seemed the height of daring and sophistication, and when
in From Russia with Love I read, "Her legs shifted languidly. She
was wearing nothing but the black ribbon round her neck and black silk
stockings rolled above the knees," I experienced my first remembered erection.
This stuff, clearly, was okay.
The stories
all followed, and down the years continued to follow, the same formula.
Lone-wolf Bond, on leave or recovering from some dire wound, is called
in by his boss, M, head of British Secret Service, fitted out with spiffy
gadgets by spiffy-gadget man Q, and sent on a mission against a mad, evil
genius intent on destroying/controlling the world and making gazillions
of dollars. Bond survives the first of many attempts on his life, has an
early skirmish with the evil genius, most often in the context of a game-baccarat,
maybe, or bridge or golf-and meets a Bond girl, who will fall into one
of two categories, good or bad. Good Bond girls tend to be Ph.D.'s in particle
physics or reluctant Soviet spies posing as concert cellists, and don't
sleep with Bond until the end of the flick, whereas bad Bond girls dress
in leather, do kung fu (sometimes good ones do this, too), slap around
NATO jet pilots and then fill them full of junk from a hypodermic, and
snuff out their enemies or no-longer-useful allies with rockets fired from
between the legs as they ride giddily on powerful motorcycles. They get
into bed with Bond at the first opportunity, only to be killed soon after,
betrayed by their own sexual hubris or so swept away by Bond's Cemtex performance
between the sheets that they fatally question their fundamental bad-Bond-girl
nature and turn against the evil genius, who's kicking into a higher gear
at this point, foiling and even laughing derisively at the careful counterplan
Bond has put together with M and his plodding American allies. In the act
of torturing Bond, moments before Bond is to be castrated by a laser beam
or bound and immersed in a tank whose custodians are a husband/wife team
of grinning great whites, the evil genius chuckles, “Ah, my dear
Bond, it is so rare I get to meet a man of your taste and intelligence,
and since you are about to die. . .” and reveals his own scheme,
guaranteed to be of Lex Luthor dottiness; i.e., instead of stealing the
gold in Fort Knox, he aims to irradiate it all with a nuclear explosion,
thus rendering his own private stash all the more valuable. Bond escapes,
stops ticking clock, offs villain with a couple of corny asides and whatever
weapon is to hand-gun, knife, piranha, exploding fountain pen-and then,
after ignoring the drooling praise of prime ministers, presidents, and
even M, escapes with surviving Bond girl to a consummation devoutly to
be wished.
All in
all, a plot structure of which Aristotle would have spoken highly. Sometimes,
during the course of the film, the bad Bond girl became the good one, but
this wasn't so much fun and anyway called for Jane Austen-like sophistication
of character development. Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in Goldfinger
was
a lesbian pilot with a team of dyke stunt-girl underlings before, in a
haystack, she found out what weapon Bond had between the legs.
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This
Paulite conversion was pulled off with an aplomb rare even in Sean Connery,
i.e., arcadian Bond, but then Goldfinger was a high that sustained
itself only through Thunderball and sputtered badly in You Only
Live Twice, after which Connery quit for the first time, and my father
pulled his own narrative dodge, faking his own death and disappearing with
a vast amount of embezzled cash. All this time, he'd been taking Bond seriously
after all. I was shipped off with my plastic Walther, my toy Aston, and
my collection of 007 paperbacks to another part of the country, and thereafter
to the flicks with my mother, so of course it could never be quite the
same. Anyway, by then decadence had set in. Connery was gone, replaced
first by fashion model George Lazenby, later by Roger Moore, an appalling
old duffer even back in 1973, and then by Timothy Dalton. Len Deighton
and John Le Carre offered a more realistic and therefore down-at-heels
vision of the secret world, and Bond himself had become an object of parody
in the hands of Adam Diment, author of The Bang Bang Birds; Peter
O'Donnell, whose Modesty Blaise was a younger, sexier gun; and even Anthony
Burgess, who penned the looniest of all Bond screenplays (unfilmed, for
The
Spy Who Loved Me), in which a nuclear device is concealed in the appendectomy
scar tissue of a beautiful Australian opera singer and timed to go off
on the Sydney stage as she dances the Dance of the Seven Veils in Salome
by Richard Strauss. Burgess, the sly old trickster, knew a creaking genre
when he saw one.
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YET THE
GENRE has endured. By 1964, when Ian Fleming died, Bond was already on
his way to becoming the most lucrative film franchise ever. Even with his
creator gone, Bond was far too valuable to be allowed to follow. First
Kingsley Amis and then John Gardner were drafted to write new stories through
which Bond could stroll, automatic invisible beneath his white tux, in
search of spectacle, humor with a touch of camp, pretty girls, a high body
count, and set-piece action that need have no connection with the story
line.
It's not
only commerce, of course: Fleming, for all his flaws, still has a visceral
appeal-he makes it swing on the page; and those early movies were hip,
adventurous, and knowing. In many ways, Hitchcock was behind it all. His
early English movie The 39 Steps gave us, in Robert Donat, the best screen
version of John Buchan's Richard Hannay, Bond's literary progenitor. And
from a later American one, North by Northwest, Sean Connery plucked details
from both Cary Grant, the hero, and James Mason, the villain, to create
Bond's early screen persona-well-mannered, impeccably dressed, and witty,
but also insolent and suavely cruel, a young blood whose first question
to himself when a stranger walks through the door is, Do I fuck you or
kill you?
Just as
filmmakers have never stopped trying to redo Hitchcock, so there have been
all those Bond movies that aren't prima facie Bond movies at all. Raiders
of the Lost Ark took the character back to his roots in 1930s adventure;
Die
Hard gave him a packet of Marlboros and a grimy undershirt; and True
Lies was a flawed new-age stab, giving the guy a problem in his humdrum,
nonsecret life. And if it's Pulp Fiction that feels like the truer,
deranged version for the 1990s, with Travolta as Bond the slacker, Sam
Jackson the demented Felix Leiter sidekick, Ving Rhames the all-controlling
M, and Uma Thurman the dreamiest Bond girl ever, then that's because we
believe in characters who kill for fun or money, but we can applaud no
longer the idea that they do it out of some higher moral or national purpose.
These days, only out-and-out wackos claim that high ground.
Bond has
become a man with a motivation problem; we don't buy what a Hollywood script
editor would call his "need." He harks back to a simpler, if not a more
innocent, time. JFK knew the difference between Saul Bellow and Irwin Shaw
but preferred Ian Fleming to either. Kennedy was the Bond of presidents
and didn't-couldn't-last.
Bond was
a perfect blend of British and American fantasies. He carried the public-school
ethos into the Playboy era. Snobby sadomasochism met swimsuits with gadgets
thrown in. It all sounds very sixties, and of course it was, and for an
actor taking on the character now; the problem is simple but immense: to
make Bond contemporary, to make believable that corniest of lines-which
I admit with no particular shame that, sometimes, after making what I tell
myself is a suave spin on the heel, I still find myself saying "My name
is Bond, James Bond."
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IT'S
PIERCE BROSNAN, however, at forty-two, who's got the job, which has the
air of providence, since he was offered it once before when Roger Moore
stepped down in the mid1980s-only to be pilloried by NBC, which wouldn't
release him from his contract in Remington Steele. "It blows me
away that it came around again," Brosnan says.
He lives
in a Spanish-style villa atop six acres in Malibu. There's a shiny new
black Porsche in the garage with the license plate ICY CALM. Brosnan himself
is skinny and tall, and his features, like those of many actors, are more
chiseled and delicate than they appear on-screen, as if only the camera
made them real. He'd returned earlier in the week from England, where he'd
been walking alone across a huge aircraft hangar of an empty soundstage
for the opening credit sequence, which is another Bond-movie staple. He
says, "That was just a giggle unto itself I felt a proper charlie 'cos
I felt, I'm doing it, I'm walking the walk. I thought, This is too silly
for words."
He chomps
down on a Cuban cigar begun the previous night at the Hollywood Bowl, where
he watched The Magic Flute with a new girlfriend. Brosnan's wife
of many years, Cassie, died from ovarian cancer in 1991, and he has the
even, saddened quality of one who's known loss and pain and managed to
come out the other side. There's a darkness, an edge to him, yet you warm
to the guy. He grew up in County Meath, Ireland, in a small town on the
river Boyne. He never knew much of his father and was separated from his
mother for several years when she went to England to be a nurse.
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Traveling
to join her again, in 1964, he left Ireland on a gray Thursday morning
with holy water in an aspirin bottle in one hand and in the other a set
of rosary beads with which he still travels. The first film he saw in London
was Goldfinger. "There was this gold lady, naked," he says.
"A man with a hat that decapitated people and statues. And this amazing
cool dude who just kind of strutted through the fair, beat the shit out
of anybody who got in his way, and got the girl. I kind of liked it."
As an eleven-year-old,
he says, he connected with the imagery rather than the character. "The
first guy I ever thought, He's cool, I want to be him, was Clint Eastwood
in the spaghetti westerns. But there was something about the gold naked
lady that really got my attention."
He studied
acting, worked with Tennessee Williams on the London stage, and made his
first screen appearance as the IRA assassin who never says a word but finally
gets to do away with Bob Hoskins in John Mackenzie's splendid The Long
Good Friday.
The new
movie is called GoldenEye, after Ian Fleming's Jamaica retreat.
In it, Bond's boss (played for the first time by a woman, the English Shakespearean
actress Dame Judi Dench-M as Lady Macbeth) sends him out to save the world,
saying, "You're nothing but a sexist, misogynist dinosaur."
In the
face of such, can Bond carry on the way he always has? Brosnan says, "He
is
sexist and misogynist, but I don't think he feels he's a dinosaur. If you
think about this man who is forty-two who has done this job for many years,
if you give that fact credence as an actor-and you have to-he's adrift,
he just goes through and kills people and he fucks the women. Anything
that comes across his path, he just goes through it. And where does that
leave him? What's it like for him, day after day? He's weary. He's a hard
and dark character."
There you
have it. Bond in the mid-1990s is reborn an existentialist, though of course
the success of GoldenEye will depend not only on Brosnan's reading
but on whether a balance has been struck between character, action, and
the camp humor that turned people on in the first place (all the Moore
films were too silly and gadget-dominated), and whether the action itself
measures up. to standards expected by an audience that's very sophisticated
about such things these days. GoldenEye is directed by Martin Campbell,
who did No Escape with Ray Liotta and, for the BBC, the classic
late-1980s conspiracy series Edge of Darkness, which made a star
out of Bob Peck. While sticking to the tested formula of chases, casinos,
death-defying shoot-outs, a demon foe, and earth-threatening skulduggery
(it's safe to bring in the Russians again), he's contrived to give the
film a grittier feel and found, in Famke Janssen, a sexy bad girl who ranks
with the best, suitably cruel and fetching in black leather. Brosnan says
that if GoldenEye does work, they might well try to get Quentin Tarantino
for the next movie to shake things up even more. A dandy idea: Let's hope
he doesn't kill Bond coming out of the toilet.
IN DUE
COURSE, the Gaumont cinema was knocked down, my father died, and I wised
up to the realization that it was not only more desirable but actually
easier to become a man after the style of Lennon or McCartney. Even so,
I still remember and even hanker after Bond. Every now and then, I'll reach
for one of the novels or fondly fondle a suit that reminds me of that which
Connery wore while wrapping a poker around the neck of SPECTRE agent Colonel
Jacques Boitier (pronounced Boiuard) in the opening sequence of Thunderball.
I try to
be postmodern about it. I tell myself it's all to do with that tricky area
of reading and watching fiction where empathy crosses a line and becomes
identification. This happens more often-I hope-in childhood. Perhaps it's
only then that books and movies have deep influence. Women I know tend
to identify with their own early heroines, Scarlett O'Hara, or Elizabeth
Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, who is not only the sexiest chick
in the village, a model of wit, independence, and caring thoughtfulness,
but a nifty musician and dancer to boot. Yet they don’t consider
themselves unreasonable. Somehow, I'm the immature one for having ever
wanted to be this debonair and totally believable cat who merely gets to
live a life of more or less constant danger while eating and drinking the
best, driving cool cars, killing bad guys, and scoring at least two gorgeous
women per hundred minutes of screen time.
Ian Fleming,
in sitting down to write, found that his dreams corresponded to those of
a teenager. Adolescent fantasies modify themselves but at base don't change
that much. Bond might have qualities of the dinosaur, but he's an archetype
nonetheless, a character whose face and name might change but will never
go away.
A few years
back, I got friendly with an earnest liberal fellow of my own age, an award-winning
documentary-film maker who confessed that he still had in his possession
two of those Corgi toy Aston Martins, one for general use and one that
had never been taken out of its own box. Now, this was excessive, I thought,
but then I had to admit that a guilty part of me still looked in the mirror
and dreamed of Bond looking back. |